Space Pirate

I was almost fifty years old, the age where I would officially be recognised as an adult was quickly approaching.

 

As I lazily spent my days in the mansion, that’s when I noticed it.

 

“Don’t you think that it’s pretty unhealthy that I’ve barely gone outside the mansion, despite how I’ve reincarnated into a mind-boggling sci-fi universe?”

 

I was working in the office at the moment.

 

Amagi answered my question while helping me process documents, completely ignoring the fact I just told her about my reincarnation. This maid’s power level sure was high.

 

“There’s no problem as long as you exercise properly within the mansion grounds, and besides, it’s safer here. I don’t recommend moving around.”

 

Was she still angry about how I snuck out last time?

 

I left to pick up some cute girls, but couldn’t find anyone to my tastes.

 

So what should I do, really?

 

Normally when one thinks about being an evil lord, you’d imagine them indulging themselves in liquor and beautiful women.

 

With alcohol, I can’t help but feel guilty drinking it in my current body, and it doesn’t even taste that good.

 

As for women, I’m not really into them because nobody so far has been able to beat Amagi, who’s like the representation of my ideals.

 

Huh? Then is there any need to do these things at all?

 

“No, wait. I’m aiming to be an evil lord in the future, how can I just give up now?”

 

“I don’t care if you’re called an evil lord or not, but what is it exactly that you wish to do, Master?”

 

“…raise the taxes and oppress the people?”

 

“Temporary tax revenue will rise, but I can’t recommend it right now because it’ll be detrimental in the long run. Let’s consider the current state of the territory and alter the taxes accordingly.”

 

Depending on the situation, lowering the tax will increase the populace’s tendency to buy things, which in turn may even increase tax revenues.

 

–this is so wrong. I don’t want to follow economic logic like this.

 

I want to step on others!

 

I don’t want to be from the side that’s taken from, I want to go and be the one that takes things away!

 

“I don’t want to hear such sensible opinions! I want to go and do things by abusing my power and using violence!”

 

That’s it.

 

I’ll just start taking things from the people. I’ll become the lord of thieves!

 

Who cares about tax revenues!

 

“Yeah, let’s find a beautiful girl in the local area and kidnap her. In this case, let’s make sure to find someone who has a fashion sense to my liking.”

 

Amagi replied immediately to my plan,

 

“Excluding the technology department, all the current staff who work at the mansion are people who fit the appearance criteria that you’ve advocated for. Everyone employed here has been specifically selected from the local populace.”

 

Hearing this gave me a headache.

 

Certainly, those who worked in the mansion did tend to have a good sense for fashion.

 

But Amagi seemed to be misunderstanding something.

 

“Are you perhaps feeling that it’s about time you took a bride?”

 

“No, that’s not what I’m feeling at all.”

 

“I’m sure there are many women who would be willing, or if you prefer men, we could arrange for that instead.”

 

“No, I don’t.”

 

Amagi, did you really think I was interested in men?

 

And if I was going to lay my hands on the people, I didn’t want to do it to those who came willingly.

 

What makes things fun is the way they resist!

 

“Then, let’s bring in the local entertainers from the territory! Forcing the populace to relieve my boredom is definitely evil!”

 

“Master, the entertainment industry is still developing. Either way, at your call many people would happily volunteer. Though there’s nobody really that talented nearby… or did you wish to bring in someone from outside the territory?”

 

Outside? As in, somebody from another territory?

 

“I want to be treated like a king by my people! If they’re from another place, they won’t have any sense of fealty for me!”

 

That suggestion is rejected because I didn’t have the leeway to cause friction with the nearby territories yet.

 

I’ll start messing with them after we build up some more strength.

 

“Why not just relax for now? Master, you are the head of the Banfield house. That’s not just a statement, you are literally the king of an entire galaxy, well… the king of one planet.”

 

No, even if that’s true, don’t say it!

 

I mean, isn’t that kind of pathetic? To only be in control of one planet when my territory actually covers an entire galaxy.

 

This isn’t my fault! This as well, is because of my father and grandfather!

 

Damn, is it that difficult to become an evil lord?

 

To rub salt in the wound, Amagi reminded me of a fundamental problem we still haven’t fixed,

 

“There’s also the matter with the unresolved debt.”

 

…our debt.

 

No matter how far the territory develops, I’ll still be held down because of this stupid debt!

 

And if I just ignore it various troubles will follow, so I have to pay it back.

 

If I delay the payments anymore then they already have been, then the collectors will come knocking at my door.

 

-I started to recall my previous life’s trauma.

 

“Damn, is there no way to easily repay this thing?”

 

“Unfortunately not, so let’s just continue making steady payments. As we continue to show our good faith, the other party may even begin to-”

 

Suddenly, a call interrupted us.

 

It was Brian.

 

“That’s rare, doesn’t he always come by the office personally when he has something to say?”

 

When I accepted the call, his image projected itself into the air.

 

“Lord Liam, we’re in danger! Space pirates have declared war on the Banfield house!”

 

…aren’t they a little too lawful to be pirates?

 

◇ ◇ ◇

 

The building for government offices in my territory was a huge skyscraper.

 

Many officials that worked to manage the area were stationed here. It was the kind of place that I’d rarely visit.

 

I’m supposed to be the person in power, but if I had a problem, usually I’d just send one of my subordinates here in my place.

 

However, it looks like this time things need to be done in-person.

 

All the important individuals were gathered in the conference room, fervently talking about the pirate’s declaration of war and their demands.

 

An official in a suit was checking its contents while in a state of high-tension.

 

“The pirates are demanding we hand over goods and hostages. The hostages themselves being limited to beautiful women.”

 

I looked at the list of precious metals they demanded, but they were at quantities I couldn’t possibly provide.

 

And the hostages were limited to beauties…

 

—this infuriated me.

 

Why did I have to give them what belonged to me?

 

It wasn’t just officials, military personnel were here too.

 

“My lord, should we negotiate with the pirates or should we prepare for battle?”

 

The soldiers were annoyed by the officials discussion, which didn’t seem to be getting anywhere.

 

“Our opponent is Goaz! He’s someone that even has a bounty on his head!”

 

He was a villainous pirate worth an immense amount of money.

 

If we could somehow defeat his fleet, we’d receive huge rewards in return.

 

So what should we do?

 

“Is it even possible to win? Even if we gather all our forces, the Banfield house only has eight-thousand ships in total, while the Goaz’s fleet numbers at thirty-thousand!”

 

“There’s also the difference in quality of arms! Numbers aren’t everything, and we can’t just surrender without doing anything! What about the people?!”

 

“So you say, but can’t we just run away?”

 

“You, just what the hell are you saying?!”

 

I looked over Goaz’s bounty as the official’s and soldier’s argument became more fierce.

 

As a noble, it’s not really that big of a deal for me.

 

It wasn’t an ignorable amount, but wasn’t really enough to say I’d be rich once obtained.

 

I almost didn’t notice it happening,

 

-what’s this?

 

Everything suddenly became quiet, and when I looked up, the surrounding scene was really weird.

 

Even though they were arguing so violently before, now they weren’t even moving.

 

They looked completely frozen.

 

“…what is this?”

 

It looked like time had stopped.

 

That’s when I heard a nostalgic voice.

 

“Okay, now we should have a little time. This is tiring, but it has been a long time since we’ve seen each other, in this life you’re called Liam, right?”

 

I turned around, and there the guide stood before me.

 

“It has been a long time, and what’s with this situation? Pirates are attacking.”

 

Didn’t he promise that I’d be able to live a happy life?

 

The other party seemed to have guessed what I was asking as he answered,

 

“Liam, you’re misunderstanding the situation, this is my present for you.”

 

“Present?”

 

“Yes, you’re going to become an adult in this universe soon, right? Before that happened, I wanted to give you one final gift before your debut as an official part of the aristocracy. Am I correct in saying that your territory is currently in debt?”

 

I could only give a bitter response,

 

“Yeah, it is. I’m still making payments for it even today.”

 

“I knew this, so I manipulated some pirates who had huge amounts of treasure over to your land. Liam, if you can beat them, all of it will be yours.”

 

“Mine?”

 

The guide stepped closer to me and grabbed my hands.

 

“Yes, if you can defeat them, then you’ll receive many honours and a huge amount of treasure. Their leader even has a considerably large bounty on his head. This is my gift for you.”

 

“-is that so?”

 

As I started to smile, the guide gave me his own smile in turn.

 

“Thanks for being understanding. Well with this, the after-sales service is over, so I have to bid you farewell.”

 

After taking off his top-hat and giving a bow, a door suddenly manifested behind the guide.

 

As usual, I couldn’t see any of his features besides his mouth.

 

I bowed back to him in response,

 

“Thank you, truly, for everything.”

 

And I gave him my thanks.

 

I felt like his smile disappeared for a second there, but it was back to normal almost immediately.

 

“This is my job after all.”

 

-After the guide left through the door, it completely disappeared.

 

Immediately after, the noisy argument resumed.

 

I tried to stand up in the most conspicuous way possible.

 

As everyone’s eyes gathered on me, I started to give my orders,

 

“This is a good chance, so let’s attack them first. Everyone, begin preparations for battle.”

 

The soldiers were at a loss.

 

The officials were as well.

 

“My lord, that’s reckless. This is a famous pirate we’re talking about here, many knights have already been slain by his hands, and we have none of the Banfield’s knights remaining.”

 

I didn’t have any of the previous generation’s vassals.

 

And even if I did, there was no guarantee that they would even make a difference.

 

But that wasn’t a problem.

 

If the guide set everything up, then there’s no way I’d lose.

 

“Who cares about that? I told you what we’re going to do, so make the preparations already.”

 

The officials looked like they still had something to say, but stayed quiet, probably remembering how I purged a large number of them before.

 

That’s right, just shut up and follow my orders.

 

Those that follow me are treated favourably.

 

And those that don’t will be killed.

 

“We’ll use everything we’ve got in this battle, so somebody start transporting Avid.”

 

The commander of my forces- one of the men expelled by the imperial army objected to this.

 

“Do you plan to sortie as well, my lord?”

 

“I’ll leave with the first ships, it’s decided. Don’t worry, I’m only making these orders because I believe in us. From now on, let’s just have some fun hunting pirates.”

 

There’s nothing more fun than playing a game you already know you’re going to win.

 

These pirates came all this way to deliver their huge treasure troves to me.

 

So of course I’d have to respond in kind.

 

“–prepare for battle.”

 

◇ ◇ ◇

 

Brian was unnaturally restless at the mansion.

 

Amagi gave her report.

 

“Avid has been successfully transported to the spaceport. It will soon be loaded onto the battleship that Master will board.”

 

Brain hung his head.

 

“What bad luck. Just when the territory finally started to become lively again, some space pirates just had to invade.”

 

Amagi’s expression didn’t change.

 

But she still seemed to be worried.

 

“We haven’t lost yet, and Master’s decision wasn’t wrong. From the information we’ve gathered about the pirate, even if we surrendered it’d be meaningless.”

 

Brian shook his head.

 

“It’s too late. What are we going to do once they start flooding into the territory with those numbers?”

 

The main army was contacted and they dispatched a force in response to the pirates trespassing on imperial space.

 

Their response was swift, but it still didn’t look like they’d be able to make it in time.

 

In the worst case scenario, the territory will be destroyed, and the army will arrive to nothing but a decimated planet that the pirates had already fled from.

 

Brian lamented,

 

“The Banfield name was finally, finally about to regain its former glory. If only Lord Liam was born a century earlier.”

 

Brian, who had placed his hopes on Liam, despised the pirates.

 

◇ ◇ ◇

 

At the spaceport.

 

There was a man watching the Banfield fleet rally together.

 

It was the guide.

 

He was wearing what he normally did, even in outer space.

 

Standing on top of the spaceport, he began to laugh at the figure of Liam who was preparing to meet the ship’s captain.

 

“To think he actually believed me when I told him this was a present. Well, as long as it’s interesting. I actually hope he gets captured and turns into another one of that barbarian’s toys.”

 

The guide didn’t tell Liam something important.

 

He didn’t tell him that Goaz’s pirate fleet was far stronger than ordinary ones.

 

The secret to its strength lay in the box that Goaz kept on him at all times.

 

It was an infinite source of funding for Goaz.

 

With an endless amount of resources to spare, Goaz was always prepared.

 

Even the quality of their equipment wasn’t that inferior compared to the latest models.

 

In this battle, the overwhelming number of pirates had the advantage.

 

“And he was so grateful to me too… I’m looking forward to seeing how this changes later. His thanks will digress into hate, and all the things that make him happy will burn in front of him as he drowns in grief and despair. This will surely satisfy me.”

 

The guide was waiting for Liam’s life to fall apart.

 

Outside of his field of view, a small light appeared and headed towards Avid, who was being loaded onto the battleship.

 

It quickly entered inside Avid before the guide noticed.

 

Still ignorant, the guide started spreading his arms wide.

 

“What kind of result will you show me! Liam, it’s time for you to learn the truth of your reincarnation!”

 

Why did he bring Liam into this universe?

 

Why was his previous life so full of pain?

 

The time the guide had waited for- the moment that he could tell Liam everything, had arrived.


Written by Mishima Yomu/Wai (三嶋 与夢)

Translated by KuroInfinity at slothtranslationsblog.com

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18 thoughts on “Space Pirate

  1. HAHAHAHAH, I can already see it, Liam rekting the pirates with his secret technique and outstanding performance as a pilot, not to mention the high spec of his armada new battleships!!!!!!!

    Liked by 7 people

  2. What do you do with a scurvy pirate?
    You obviously steal everything they have right? There’s no issue of foreign diplomacy so you can decimate them entirely. It’s like a fat golden goose just landed on your doorstep.

    If it has a sharp beak, you simply grab a nearby blunt object to knock it out, gut it with a knife, chop off it’s head, pluck the feathers, pull out the organs, wash the insides, even fillet it if you prefer, maybe add some garnishings like lemon and chive, you can baste it or bake it or grill it or even steam it.

    Mua tres magnifique. You can even make some organ soup on the side, good for a galaxy of 6-8 quadrillion.

    Like

  3. Thanks for the chapter! So, will Liam “gratitude” the guide to death? Literally? I’d love to see that… and of course, Liam getting the pirates’ wealth.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. thanks for the chapter.

    the back and forth between amagi and Liam is so funny

    Liam:call some people to entertain me

    amagi:they are not very talented my lord

    Liam:I want to steal money from my people

    amagi:they are still poor please wait a little longer

    Liked by 3 people

  5. ……that little guide’s mind is going to be blown away for the gratitude cannon that will be aimed at his head in a chapterish or two
    *grabs a chair and a big box of popcorn*
    This is going to be fun!
    Thanks for the chapter ma’am’
    A really good thing to start my day with haha!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love how he’s so desperate to do something evil and megamaniacal, but then two minutes later is like “oh shit I have this debt. I literally have no option other than to meekly pay it off like a little bitch. Woe unto me, indeed.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. And there’s that little light from earlier, reappearing long before I expected it to become relevant again. I wonder if it’ll become an AI for the Avid? Speaking of which, you have that spelled as both Avid and Avide in this chapter. Testing out a preferred spelling? Anyway, thanks for translating!

    Liked by 1 person

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